Thursday, March 29, 2007

Phot Archive Thursday

Douglas, douglas, douglas, douglas!!!!!

Where are you now Douglas? Has anyone cared for you as much as we did? Do you remember us fondly when you drive by a starbucks? do you hear the ghost of a voice saying"frappo, frappo"? We shall not forget you Douglas.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Photo Archive Thursday


This photo is one of my favourites. I like how it feels and the sky seems so blue behind the black bars.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

roller coaster

Today was quite positive. My session today went very well and although my feedback for my placement so far was not glowing it left me feeling that perhaps i was getting there. I should be feeling good but instead i am wary. My confidence has taken such a dive recently that i find myself waiting for fate to kick me in the teeth and show me where my next fuck up will be.

After the easter weekend i was planning to go up to Norfolk for a few days to see my nephews and i was going to go paintballing with Mark. After thinking about the amount of work ahead of me and forming a tentative revision timetable, i phoned Mark up and told him i would not be able to make it afterall and i would have to visit in the summer. I found myself choking up and having to fight to stop my voice going all funny. The last thing i want is for my brother to think i am falling apart. This took me somewhat by surprise as i had not realised that i was upset about anything at this particular moment. I thought i must be tired and anxious about the amount of work i have to do. But the reason i felt like crying was because i kept thinking that i would not have seen my brother for 6 months by the time the summer comes round. What on earth has happened to make me so emotional and setimental? I am falling apart. Send for the men in white coats.

Monday, March 19, 2007

To Cheltenham & Gloucester and Back Again

The story of my St. Patrick's Day Weekend

I hope everyone celebrated Paddy's Day in style.

I went to cheltenham on Friday with my housemates to soak in the atmosphere of the post gold cup celebrations. It was a great evening, i liked Cheltenham and there were enough random people in for the races to keep a people watcher like me amused for days. It was particularly amusing to watch Rachel's boyfriend Steve and his friend Carlos who had been drinking steadily throughout the whole day, culminating in Steve being slumped over a bar, eyes glazed over but still drinking on automatic. They were still going when we decided we had enough and went back to Rachel's. When they staggered back later Steve fell on the sofa bed where Laura and Shiv were attempting to sleep and he proceeded to breathe on Shiv asking her if his breath smelt. poor shiv couldn't escape because he was pinning down the sleeping bag in which she was zipped up in. When i went into the kitchen the next morning there was a naked man sleeping on the kitchen floor with a sheep skin rug as his only covering. Strange people in cheltenham.

The next day being St Patrick's Day and the last day of the 6 nations rugby, we took ourselves to o'neils to join in the celebrations. 3 rugby matches, a silly guiness hat, and several magners later and Laura and I parted company with everyone else and went to catch the 8.02 train to Reading. When we got to Cheltenham Spa train station we discovered that it was not a direct train and that we would have to change at Bristol Parkway. So we get on the train and we wait for the conductor to come along so we can buy our tickets. We knew it was a bad sign when we stated our destination and he said "Where??"

After some very confusing dialogue he eventually told us that if we changed at Bristol parkway we would have to pay 40 pounds but if we went to swindon it would only be 19 pounds. being students we decided the cheaper option was the right one, even though that meant getting off at Gloucester and getting another train back the way we had just come. Unfortunately we then discovered the train was coming for another hour and a half. So we wandered into Gloucester and two magners later and we were finally on a train heading in the right direction. In the end it turned out the ticket was only 10 pounds cheaper and we spent that on drinks in Gloucester.

Of course that was not the end of my St patricks weekend. Yesterday London Irish were playing London Wasps at Madejski stadium. Irish won 16-13 and the celebrations flowed on into the town. Go Irish!

Friday, March 16, 2007

better late than never


I'm late again for the Thursday photo archive.
I long to be anywhere but here so i present another photo of the sea.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Monday is the new Thursday...

...at least for today. I could not post a photo for the Thursday photo archive because my internet connection went down and so here is my offering instead. A photo of Brighton last summer to remind me of what joys await me in the carefree days to come. In the words of Mrs Bennett: "A little sea-bathing would set me up forever!"

Un bel di vedremo


The end is in sight (at least for this term), i have two weeks left of lectures and then 2 weeks of placement. This weekend gone I decided to take a break and on Saturday I went to see Madam Butterfly at the Royal Albert Hall. It was beautiful and I found that the plight of cio cio san still manages to move me to tears. The stage was wonderfully done with candles floating out on to the lake as 'night' descended. I was like a little girl eagerly awaiting some wonderful treat as i sat down in my seat and as Un bel di vedremo was sung i had goosebumps on my arms. For a few hours i forgot everything and nothing existed but the story unfolding before me.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Marrying the Sea Till Death Do Us Part

Well I stood before the ocean
In the middle of the night
And ‘cos I loved her so
I asked her then if she would be my wife
Then I closed my eyes and waited
And I listened for an answer
Until she kissed my feet
And whispered I could not give you my answer
And then as she walked me up and down along the shore
She said you’re far too young to marry me
For I am old as old can be
And I’ve been wed with many men
But for all my love I far outlived them all.

So I went to her the next night
All a merry-ed up with wine
And I asked her for her long blue hand
For to hold hers there in mine
And then once again I waited
And I listened for awhile
Until I heard her voice come
Crashing in the waves
That broke all round for miles and miles
She said how could I place my trust in thee
When I am bound and you are free
See so many men have took my hand
And so many of them left me for the land

There were fisherman, whalers, seamen and sailors
But for all it’s just me and the moon
And for each star above me
Ten more have loved me
How could it be different with you
So when It was quiet on the third night
I said my life is in your hands
You can keep me for the time I have
Or I’ll lie here on the sand
And it was quiet on the third night
As I took off my shoes
But as I walked into her arms she said
Sure what have I to lose.

Declan O'Rourke

There's been a mistake

Is there another Brianne out there, who applied to study speech and language therapy at Reading Uni? I think they offered me your place accidentally. It took me two years to figure out what should have been obvious from the beginning, i don't deserve to be here. I should have stuck to books and left people alone. I'm really going to disapoint my parents this time when i fail this course. Why at 25 should i still be bothered by that? i don't know but i starting to get the sneaking suspicion that it is a feeling that wont ever leave me.

right, someone slap me, i have to stop being so self-pitying. i need a fallback plan. I can get an office job somewhere. Esther, does your company need anyone?

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Photo Thursday


Carcassonne. looking down on the cathedral below.

3 summers ago, when i was carefree and didn't realise that i would one day be hiding in the ladies trying to control my tears before going back to clinic or that i would be wandering down roads feeling lost and trying to think of a way out.

It hasn't been the best of weeks and it feels like the culmination of all the stress i have been feeling lately. This weekend I am going to woolacombe with my housemates. i wasn't going to go but I think if i stay here this weekend i might do something i will regret.

I thought i was just going to type a quick note about the photo.

so...castle, sun, swimming in lakes, good holiday. bye